In every book you read the advice is always the same. Never confront someone when you are emotionally charged. It sounds very simple in theory but often in life we choose to overlook small things that annoy us until suddenly something sets us off and we explode. This is what happened to me yesterday. Over the past few months a very close friend of mine has done a few little things that annoy me, and I haven’t confronted her about them. This in itself is bad enough as it is always better to confront each issue as they happen rather than ignoring them and hoping that they will get better. Anyway this particular friend has many amazing qualities. She is smart, caring, fun, and loyal and has real drive and ambition. These qualities are what I love about her but unfortunately there are other little things that have obviously annoyed me more than I thought because when something triggered me I exploded and let loose, naming all of them at once!
When I confront someone I normally have to write down what I’m going to say. I’m quite hot headed and I get defensive, so if I write it down it makes me stay on track and not let things get too nasty or out of control. Obviously yesterday in the spare of the moment I certainly hadn’t planned on confronting my friend, and so I had no notes, and yes I got emotional and took it too far. Now just for the record I know that this is totally not the way you should go about confronting someone you have issues with. When you’re emotional you say things you don’t mean, or you say the things you do mean in a harsher tone. Although what I did say was essentially true (i.e. my perception of the truth based on my own feelings at the time) it wasn’t in the way I would have liked to bring it up. I love my friend and I’m there for her. I do accept her for good and bad (just as she has accepted me), but I guess in my subconscious I had things I needed to say. It’s a pity I emotionally exploded though; it’s a shitty thing to do.
When I confront someone I normally have to write down what I’m going to say. I’m quite hot headed and I get defensive, so if I write it down it makes me stay on track and not let things get too nasty or out of control. Obviously yesterday in the spare of the moment I certainly hadn’t planned on confronting my friend, and so I had no notes, and yes I got emotional and took it too far. Now just for the record I know that this is totally not the way you should go about confronting someone you have issues with. When you’re emotional you say things you don’t mean, or you say the things you do mean in a harsher tone. Although what I did say was essentially true (i.e. my perception of the truth based on my own feelings at the time) it wasn’t in the way I would have liked to bring it up. I love my friend and I’m there for her. I do accept her for good and bad (just as she has accepted me), but I guess in my subconscious I had things I needed to say. It’s a pity I emotionally exploded though; it’s a shitty thing to do.
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